I don’t know about everyone else but some days I just wake up with a bad attitude. I don’t mean moody and rude to people, I just mean waking up not positive enough or being hard on myself and it sets you off wrong for the whole day.
Today is one of those days. I recently started a new job and felt so strong and like I was really achieving. I started a new hobby and felt like I’ve been looking after myself really well. Quick disclaimer, none of this has changed I am still doing all of this and more and somehow today I am not as impressed with myself as I was last week. I still totally love the job, but sometimes you just don’t feel as on top of this as other days do you?
The reason I am sharing this at all is I think it’s so easy to put never-ending pressure on ourselves to always want to achieve more. I have written countless blogs on positive thinking and kindness etc. However, I think it’s also important for everyone to acknowledge (including me) that you’re doing really great, even on the days when you don’t feel like you are.
I recently read a fantastic article about women putting too much pressure on themselves and expecting perfection all the time. One particular quote from Fabiana Xavier, in the article, really resonated with me: “Perfection is unreal and unachievable. Aiming for it will only lead to frustration and inertia. In some cases, it can lead to depression. When I feel paralysed by perfectionism, I remember that there is a difference between striving for excellence and demanding perfection. And I tell myself, ‘this is my very best’ rather than, ‘it has to be perfect.”
I know personally, comparison is the biggest enemy of this positive mindset. When you and your friends are reaching hurdles at different points in your life it can sometimes feel a little unsettling. You can sometimes compare yourself and feel like somehow you are not achieving because you are somewhere different to them. My advice? Focus on you. Even if your friends are similar to you; every single person on this planet is different and the world would be a very boring place if we were all doing the same thing.
No matter your goals you aren’t going to get there all at once. Everyone has ambitions and things they want to be able to say they have achieved, but this can’t happen straight away. Learning and developing and working hard are all needed before you reach the epitome of where you’re going to end up. Also, where is the fun and achievement of getting everything straight away? You are hardly going to value the work put in if you haven’t had to work for it at all.
Give yourself a break. Some weeks you’re going to eat salad everyday, gym all the time and smash every goal you set for yourself. Others, you’re going to eat chocolate like it is disappearing from the earth and make every mistake under the sun (well feel like it at least) at work. It’s ok to not have it together all the time! Give yourself a break because I almost guarantee you’re expecting more from yourself than anyone else is. If you’re trying your best then the results will come, whether that’s fitness, relationship or work-based – don’t be so hard on yourself.
Set small goals and large goals. You’re bound to overwhelm yourself if you’re only setting yourself a goal that is going to take you four years to complete. Set yourself smaller goals too so when you have a win you’re boosted up, rather than discouraged and annoyed with yourself.
I have an entire blog on this point, but – give yourself some ‘me time‘. Looking after yourself sometimes needs to be number one priority and nobody is going to deny you a few hours a week dedicated to yourself. Relax, read a book, do whatever makes you chill out.
Don’t wait till Monday to get back on your positive mindset (I’ve also got a dedicated blog about positive mindset too, so go check it out). This rule applies to everything, but don’t use Monday as your ‘i’ll start again’ day. All you’re doing is prolonging the bad action or negative mindset. If you wake up one day feeling crappy and anxious, ride it out, and start again tomorrow. That’s it, start again, and again, and again until you wake up and feel more positive. You’re going to end up where you’re meant to, even it takes twenty years, it’s already decided. 💋💋
Finally… failure! Failure is not the end of the world. If you want to give something a try and it turns out that you hate it or you fail – IT’S OK! By giving something a try you’ve learnt what you like and what you don’t. So don’t live on the side of safety. Be brave and jump in! If it doesn’t pan out that’s fine. Don’t spend the rest of the week/month giving yourself a hard time and thinking you haven’t ever achieved anything.
And that’s my mid-week motivation for you!
Thanks so much for reading and let me know if you liked it!